Kept

When cleaning my bedroom the other day, I realized I have a ridiculous number of keepsake boxes. I do not live in an environment of tasteful minimalism, that's for sure! I spilled the contents of one - the heart-shaped box on my dresser, just to see the things that for one reason or another, escaped being tossed…

Dental floss in pleasing little round dispenser – almost empty. Kept because I like the shape and smooth feel of the dispenser.

A wind-up frog without its wind-up key. Because it’s cute and I like frogs.

A tiny picture of my younger son Ethan (now 11) when he was three, looking uncharacteristically angelic and sweet.

A paisley heart key ID cover my sons rejected from the multi-pack they bought. They kept the checkered and striped ones for themselves.

A piece of “2004” confetti from New Year’s Eve 2003. Kept because 2004 was a great year for me…

A long skinny box of matches from “Craft” restaurant in New York, where I went with my friend Nancy on her birthday in 2004. Kept because I love “Craft”, I love Nancy, and I am always homesick for New York and anything to do with New York.

A flat (empty) matchbox from “Windows on the World,” a restaurant that was on the top floor of the World Trade Center. This is probably early‘90’s vintage, from a night I had dinner there with my Dad, who is also gone now.

A button from my purple cashmere cardigan I keep meaning to sew back on.

A mini superball (orange) I found in my son Henry’s pocket when doing laundry.

A safety pin.

3 plastic beads - two purple, one orange.

A $2 stamp with a tiger on it. I probably kept it for the kids.

A glittery silver paper star. Origin forgotten, but I like the glitz of it.

A blue plastic monkey from a frozen margarita - I can't remember where, when, or with whom.

An antique rhinestone necklace - a Christmas gift from my Dad, 1997.

A lovely little rock – pink and gray marbled - from a hike with Joe and the kids in the Marin Headlands this winter.

Obscured View

I haven't posted in a long time. Mostly because I lost sight of what I thought this blog should be, or what I wanted it to be. I am not one for confessional outpourings. A few people I know have intense, wonderful blogs onto which they bare their souls regularly. Some of these are beautifully written, their deepest emotions wrought in clever turns of phrase and imagery. I envy them their bravery, but that isn't me. I am one who publicly masks much in my life with a humorous spin. Call it a survival tactic. The deeper stuff I must handle subtly and with care. I think I want the blog to be more about the pictures, my photographs, small snippets of my days, and occasionally, a tiny epiphany or two.

In the middle of winter I am amazed as always by the stunning skies, the frothy blossoms on the plum and cherry trees - and my birthday, with wild dancing with friends last weekend that made me feel about twelve-years-old; shamelessly self-indulgent. This is really the beginning of my New Year.

Speaks for Itself

Ethan's board that he broke with a spin-kick in his Black Belt test for Kuk Sool Won, the Korean Martial Art both of my kids have been practicing for about five years. He doesn't have the black belt yet. He needs nine "stripes" to get there. It will require more tests over a number of months, which are very rigorous and exhausting. Board breaking always comes at the end of the two-hour test, and is just sort of a bonus. You don't have to break the board to pass, but of course all the kids love to do it. It is the fun part, the glamour part. When I saw this broken board propped up on his bookshelf last weekend after the test I smiled to myself. I am reminded that it's good to have a little pride after making it through the pain…